Tears

I just read the following words written by Mary Beth Chapman, mother of little Maria that passed away in May.

As I anticipate Christmas 2008, I have many thoughts flying through my heart and head. The last several days, my mind has not been able to stop thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Pregnant and scared, knowing that the baby she was carrying eventually would pay the ultimate price of His life. How would I have lived differently if I knew that my time with Maria was going to be this short? Regretfully, I would have lived much differently. I would have purposely hugged and kissed more. I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles. I would have colored more and worked less. I would have laughed more and fussed less. Bedtime wouldn’t have become a chore to check off the list of things to get done. Instead it would have been more of an opportunity to listen about the day and offer whatever words were needed. The swimming pool wouldn’t have been too cold to swim in. The flowers in the garden would have all been picked, and definitely more ice cream would have been consumed!

Why is it, even when we know our days with our loved ones will be so short (and some so much shorter than we could ever anticipate), do we make vows to enjoy our time with them more, then let it go? Why do I constantly have to be reminded of how much I'll miss these days? Why can't I just remember that my kids will one day, much too soon, be grown? Why do I shoo them away while I'm trying to clean the kitchen, instead of taking the time to play with them and hear their laughter? Why do I care how much dog hair is on my carpet instead of just having fun with my kids and letting them stay up late to cuddle?

I am feeling very convicted right now. Though my time on the computer has been cut drastically lately, it's only been to spend more time on my house. Constant cleaning and organizing is still leaving my kids without an active mommy. And I feel horrible about it right now.

Despite all the best intentions, I don't feel like I'm living very purposefully right now.

Please pray for this pastor!!

This morning at Bible study, one of the leaders brought this story to our attention. I was in tears as she told us, and as we prayed for them.

What the article doesn't tell you is that Dennis was beat with a hammer. A hammer. Can you imagine? This happened on Saturday night. That night, his family was told he had a slim to none chance of surviving. As of yesterday- NO brain damage!!! God is a god of miracles!!!

Up until yesterday, Dennis was under an alias because authorities were unsure if this had been gang-related or not. So for 1-2 minutes every hour, when Dennis was awakened from his medically-induced coma, the nurses would try to get him to respond by saying "Mr. Wells". Of course this wasn't his name, and he wouldn't respond. But his wife, being his advocate, told the nurses that wasn't his name. Now that they are saying "Dennis" when he is taken out of the coma, he is responding.

Praise God!!! I pray God is glorified through this ugly, horrible situation. Please please pray for Dennis!!

Aw!

Mama & Tommie, Laguna Beach
Originally uploaded by faith gal220

I logged into my long-forgotten Flickr account so I can attach the photos (that I will one day upload) to my new website.

This was the only photo I'd added there. Sooooo cute! Ikey was 22 months here- could she BE more adorable??

And I'll just tackle the elephant in the room. Yes, I threw away that shirt.

The fam.

I feel like we have been SO busy. I homeschool and I am a stay-at-home mom, but I promise, we're hardly ever here. I have my weekly Bible Study (the kids come with me), the kids have AWANA every week, and then there's Friday school (on, um, Fridays). Add to that church services and Big Hunk's baseball games that are starting again and you can understand why we love the new gas prices so much. :)

Our school (since we homeschool, it's actually a private school thru our church) has Friday school, like I mentioned above. Both the kids are enrolled: Mike is taking a health/safety class and a science class, and Ike is taking health/safety and a ABC's storytime kind of class. It's a lot of fun for them to get taught by someone other than Mom, and I get to cuddle with the cute babies in the nursery while they are in class. :) We didn't do Friday school last year because there was only one class offered for Mikey, but I'm totally enjoying it this year. Next week is actually our last day until January because of the holidays.

Okay. So maybe we don't have so much going on. Because now I have nothing to say.

Quick notes, maybe?

• It is nature's cruel trick that in order to fight pimples from hell, I can't use my wrinkle cream. Pimples and wrinkles should never plague the same person at once.
• Our car is paid off. Yay!
• Christmas is less than 2 months away and now we're planning our New Year's party.
  
• My dog stinks.
  
• My dog has been stealing poop out of the catbox and eating it on my living room carpet. Sometimes leaving her leftovers for us.
  
• I love iCarly.
  
• I bought a new cupcake decorating book and am now obsessed with trying them all out. Who would NOT love a cupcake that looks like corn on the cob??
• Or an owl?
  
• My new favorite show is Rob & Big. I don't get how we missed it this long.
• Or a chicken leg?
  
• I am, once again, hooked on Seinfeld again. I watch it every night before bed.
• I broke my cute little coffeepot. It was a 4 cup size and was perfect.
  
• I LOVE pumpkin spice coffee and I'm sure to go through my 2-lb bag in a week.
• Pumpkin spice creamer with pumpkin spice coffee? Not so much.
• I don't know how Arnold Schwarzenagger was ever elected.
• I'm getting my hair cut on Monday!

Okay. This bullet list may very well have become obnoxious now, so I'm out.

On our way out.

We are leaving in about an hour and a half to go to Arizona. Big Hunk has a baseball tournament out there, and depending on how well his team does we could be there til Sunday. I'm looking forward to it (I love AZ, it's so beautiful) and hope the kids entertain themselves while I watch my man play. ;)

I have to say, this is RARE occasion, me sitting at the computer before we leave on a trip. Normally at this time I running around like a maniac packing last minute items (which with me, everything is packed last minute!) and complaining what a mess my house is.

I took a different approach this time. Yes I still packed last minute, but I DELEGATED. Sooo much easier! No more complaining that I have no help, this time I requested it. LOL Of course, as we speak Big Hunk's clothes are still not packed and he's not home, but he'll get it done. ;) I've spoiled the boy too long. All I have to do are finish cleaning the catbox and pack up the ice chest, and we're good to go. It will be a good 5-6 hour drive. I have all of our school supplies packed for the week, along with my own Bible study goodies and lots of movies. I really don't know how many of Tom's games we'll be able to go to, so we're just playing it by ear.

Okay- do any of your kids have Webkinz? Holy gracious that has had to be the most destructive purchase we've ever made. My mom bought each of the kids one over a year ago, but we never used their code online. I came across one of the codes a few weeks ago, and it all snowballed from there. Forget the kids- it's BH & I that are addicted!! They have the BEST games on there!! And you can only get to them if you have a Webkinz, so we use the kids' codes. Every time we play a game on there we earn the kids money to buy things for their animal- anything from big screen TV's to blenders to a magic carpet. LOL I am seriously having to make a conscious effort to NOT sit down at the computer because I will never get up!

Well, I need to cut this short so I can get Ikey lunch. Big Hunk & Mikey are out running last minute errands before our trip (dropping the dog off at doggie day care, getting a part for the car, etc) and I have the house all cleaned so I don't come home to a messy house. Sweet!

Antisocial.

I have been feeling really antisocial lately. It finds it's way into my everyday life where I don't make good small talk at church or on the phone, but it's definitely running over into my internet self too. ;) Whatever that means.

But today, I just feel like we have lots going on and I want to share!

Big Hunk had his baseball game yesterday, it was play-offs. Basically, if his team won, they would keep going for up to 3 more weeks. But if they lost, they would be eliminated immediately. Usually the kids and I don't go to the games all that often- usually a factor of the distance and heat making it too much of a pain in the butt. But I wasn't going to miss this one! And it was a good game. I am so glad I got to go, and I'm so thankful my kids are at the age they can play for 3 1/2 hours with friends and leave me alone! Half kidding there. ;) There is hardly anything I love more than just sitting and watching Big Hunk play baseball (and yes, those pants have something to do with it), and I wish I could go every week.

BH's team was in 5th place going into the playoffs, and they were playing the #4 team. The Angels vs. The Diablos, which always makes me laugh. Good vs. Evil. Well unfortunately, evil won this time. And it sucked. It was tied going into the 9th inning (the time limit is 3 hours, but they had to play extra time because of the tie), but the Angels scored one run giving them the advantage. But, because the Diablos had last ups, if they scored one run it would tie it up again or they had to score two to win.

I shed tears when they scored two, on a double. :*( I was so bummed for Hunk. He was pitching too, so he beats himself up.

So, the other team won by 1, and the season is over. BH is playing in a tournament in Arizona at the end of the month though, and the kids & I get to go with him. I'm so excited! Arizona is SO beautiful (the drive is loooong, but so gorgeous with all the red clay!) and clean, I can't wait to get away for a few days. And since my kids aren't sleeping in their own beds right now, it's not like the trip will screw up their schedule. *roll eyes*

Big Hunk's company is advertising with the (real) Angels for the rest of the season, so we get tickets to the rest of the home games. It's not many, but it's pretty much a dream come true for BH. He has ALWAYS wanted season tickets to the Angels. And it's even better that Mikey is officially an Angels nut too! His favorite player is Vladimir Guerrero, and the girl in charge of our advertising gave Mikey a ball signed by Guerrero when we were there a couple weeks ago. :) He was so ecstatic. We are *hoping* he will get to meet him, but we have to brush up on our Spanish if that happens because he doesn't speak English. lol

So anyway, the Yankees are our big rivals and Big Hunk has never seen the Yankees play before. Tonight (and the next 2) the Yankees are playing the Angels, and we get to go. :) Tonight the 4 of us are going, then tomorrow night BH is taking his friend and Mikey (I have our monthly women's study and Ike is going to a sitter). Wednesday is a day game so I will probably take Ikey to Disneyland while the boys watch the game. I love that my girl loves that place as much as I do. :-) Mikey couldn't usually care less if we go, but Ikey is always thrilled when we get to. Just like her mama.

My Tuesday morning Bible study starts back up in 2 weeks, and I CANNOT wait. I am seriously counting down the days. It ended in May and I have so missed that adult interaction! Even Mikey keeps asking when it starts again, poor kid. I keep him locked up in this house and he's "soooo bored". Kid, you don't even know what bored is! Those kids have a playroom full of toys, a backyard with an awesome playground and basketball hoop (okay, I can see how that hoop wouldn't be that appealing to Ikey), a pool (that I rarely take them swimming in myself), and every board game imaginable.

Yet all they ask to do is play on the computer (Webkinz are the best investment, I swear! lol) or Xbox. Or TV. Anything to numb the brain. Which I guess doesn't say much because here I am on the computer....

Well, I should get my kitchen clean before we leave in a couple hours. I don't have to can't cook for the next 3 nights because of the games and church on Wed, so I have no excuse to keep it clean!

I am a piece of art.

I am crashing. This morning for breakfast I had only a coffee cake muffin (yum!) and on our way home from church, a bottled Frap (large) and 3/4 of a donut. Add to that 1/2 of Big Hunk's Rockstar and I think my shaking and weakness is self-explanatory. For a good 2 hours I cleaned out part of our garage after BH left for his baseball game, until I couldn't hardly stand anymore. Now after eating an Uncrustable I wonder if I have enough energy to finish my job?

Well, there was no miracle at the doctor on Friday. No heartbeat, no growth. Lots of disappointment though. The baby was still measuring at 6w4d (same as my appt almost 2 weeks prior), I should have been 9 weeks. Needless to say, this sucks.

I've been dealing okay- just not really dealing much at all. When my friend Gabe (whose wife was watching the kids for us) was asking questions after my appt about it all and how I was doing, I could only avoid eye contact and give short answers to keep from crying (nothing makes a guy uncomfortable like a woman crying! lol). I had shed a couple tears leaving the doctor's parking lot Friday, but until today was just sad- not breaking down.

Well, nothing like worship at church to change that. I don't know what it is! I am always emotional during worship at church- I can usually just hold it in. I guess it's like when I'm there and (even if it's only been a couple days) I'm standing, listening to the loud music and being surrounded by people praising God (and some probably thinking about their dishes at home), I am just hit that this is where I belong. I LOVE my church. Love it. And it is totally home to me. And when we are worshiping, I am in my place.

Well today it started with "Blessed Be Your Name". Yes, He does give and take away. But though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name. Wow.

Well wonderful Byron (our worship leader) just couldn't stop there. He followed it up with "Draw Me Close" (which by the way, have you heard Kutless' version? It's awesome). Two notes in I was bawling. Big Hunk looked over at me and after a second glance (surely I wouldn't be crying here LOL) put his arm around me and that was all it took- the floodgates were open. Thank goodness for the best mascara in the world, and I still managed to leave the sanctuary looking like a human being.

I know I'm going to be okay. But I can't tell you how true it is: there is SUCH pain in the offering. Uncertainty, questions, heartbreak. And this is all before we even tell the kids that their baby brother/sister (Ike is sure it was a girl) isn't going to be born. That s/he died and went to Heaven with Great-Grandma and Hammer the fish.

There have been so many days lately that I wish I could be there too. Not in the morbid way of wanting to die (EVER), but the Lord has just created such a longing in me to be with Him. To be in His presence. It's just that this world is so full of pain and torment that I am so happy this is the worst it will get for me. It will only get better. I can't imagine living with the uncertainty of where I will go when I die, and being unsure if this is the best I will see or not.

I don't know why God allowed me to get pregnant again to only say goodbye a third time. I probably won't know this side of Heaven. But I trust Him. And as painful as my days are right now, I know that He has a plan. I may not even see the whole picture until I'm looking back on the whole portrait of my life. But I know that every brush stroke is painting a masterpiece, and that He is the artist. And I've never seen Him paint a picture that wasn't absolutely perfect.

I won't say goodbye.

I've been in a crummy mood the past few days. It's made me want nothing to do with almost anyone right now, simply because I feel so alone. Yeah, I'm probably being *itchy. (Yup, itchy. You read it right. lol)

10 days ago I found out that my baby didn't have a heartbeat. 9 days ago I realized that it's in God's hands and that He- and He alone- has the final say. I have prayed and prayed for a miracle; I have completely placed this child in God's hands, knowing she was never really mine in the first place.

Most anyone I've told about our decision to believe has answered with "Oh good! I wanted to tell you the story about...." and would follow with a story similar to mine that concluded with a healthy baby. One person however, answered me with a shrug and change of the subject. Now this is the same person that is normally one of my good friends and has been a real prayer warrior for my marriage and all that we've been going through the past few months. She was ecstatic when I told her I was pregnant. But I guess she's just one of those people that doesn't handle news like this well, and is more of a "fairweather" supporter. Whatever.

(Pardon my jumping all over the place. I've been needing to get this all out but we need to be out the door shortly and I'm trying to hurry so I can do the dishes too.) Nothing has happened with my body, other than feeling as pregnant as ever with tons of exhaustion, nausea, and emotions. But the night before last I dreamt that indeed miscarried and it brought with it the flood of "whatifs". Yet still nothing has happened and I have faith.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I feel like a nervous wreck. I feel like the outcome of my whole life is weighing on this appointment. I totally broke down to BH today because I felt like I had no one to talk to, and that no one cared. I know it's not true, but I'm just bitter because everyone's busy lives are more important than my problems. ;) All in all I think it helped him realize how much I am dealing with right now (even if I don't open up) and how much I NEED him there tomorrow. He had already been planning on going but had other things planned just prior, and I was worried that- even though my dr. is always running late- he would get stuck and not make it in time. Now I truly believe he will make every effort to be there on time solely to hold my hand and calm my nerves.

God, I really really don't want to sit in that waiting room again only to lose another baby. Please don't make me let go of another one.

In just the past 5 months that waiting room has been such a bittersweet friend to me. In March when I knew I was losing my (2nd) baby. In July when I was pregnant again. A week ago when I knew something was wrong and I waited to find out my fate. And now tomorrow, waiting to find out if my prayers and faith were answered with a miracle.

I am praying constantly. I am praying, despite a gazillion ultrasounds last Monday to tell me my baby had no heartbeat, that we will go in tomorrow and defy the odds. That we will see that perfect, bright, pulsating heartbeat and a baby that is exactly 9 weeks along. That I can smile widely and tell everyone that God performed a miracle and I knew He would!

Well I need to shut it now and get on with my day. I have a sinkful of dishes that need to be done before my hunk walks in the door, and kiddos that are to be taken to the library for a bunch of fun and shows. :) I'm still blessed.

Nice.

I love how I (finally) make a post about being pregnant, and then I find out the same day that my baby has no heartbeat.

I've been putting it off... ;)

But this blog has been suffering because it seems like everything in my life right now centers around one little tidbit of information that we hadn't quite shared yet with family. But now I can. :) We're pregnant! Again!

So maybe now my blog can catch it's breath again and come back to life.

I will post more later when I have time.

The pear tree

When I first started watching this video today I thought it would be cheesy. I had never read this before (though maybe you have) and I was in tears before I got halfway through. I so needed this right now.

The bride.

I came across this story a few years ago in my Max Lucado Devotional Bible, and kind of forgot about it. When I found it again a couple days ago the timing couldn't have been better. Such a beautiful picture.

________________________________________

Seeing Ourselves as God Sees Us

Look long enough into the eyes of our Savior and, there too, you will see a bride. Dressed in fine linen. Clothes in pure grace. From the wreath in her hair to the clouds at her feet, she is royal; she is the princess. She is the bride. His bride. Walking toward him, she is not yet with him. But he sees her, he awaits her, he longs for her.
"Who could bear to live without her?" you hear him whisper.
And who is that bride? Who is this beauty who occupies the heart of Jesus?
It is not nature. He loves his creation and creation groans to be with him, but he never called creation his bride.
It is not his angels. His angels are ever present to worship and serve him, but he never called the heavenly beings his bride.
Then who? Who is this bride about whom Jesus speaks and for whom Jesus longs? Who is this maiden who has captured the heart of God's son?
You are. You have captured the heart of God. "As a man rejoices over his new wife, so your God will rejoice over you." (Isaiah 62:5)
The challenge is to remember that. To meditate on it. To focus on it. To allow his love to change the way you look at you.
Do you ever feel unnoticed? New clothes and styles may help for a while. But if you want permanent change, learn to see yourself as God sees you: "He has covered me with clothes of salvation and wrapped me with a coat of goodness, like a bridegroom dressed for his wedding, like a bride dressed in jewels." (Isaiah 61:10) (taken from When Christ Comes by Max Lucado)

______________________________________________________

I just love that.

"Who could bear to live without her?"

That just takes my breath away. To think of my Creator and my Savior longing for me. Me.

Summer days

We had an AWESOME day at the spa yesterday. We all so needed it.

I dropped the kids off at Hunkie's work about 1pm and met Heather & Darci at the spa about 1:45pm (because my husband loves my company so much he just can't let me go *lol*). After paying and changing, we headed to the mud for a lil' while (I looove how smooth my skin is from that!) then hung out at the pool eating nachos the remaining 3 hours or so. :)

This is only like the 3rd time I've gotten to hang out with Heather and Darci (I went to high school with Heather's husband, and Darci's husband works for Big Hunk now) but I adore them. Heather and I get along so well and she makes me laugh constantly. She's my age, but Darci is 23 and tiny and gorgeous and freaking adorably pregnant. She made me feel like a cow being next to her in her tiny bikini! Heather and I laughed later that we were bigger than her, and she's pregnant! (Of course she's only 13 weeks, but still!)

I really REALLY don't deserve my husband.

I have been feeling really worn out and like I'm not getting a break from the kids at all. Every day has been running around getting things done, so we've been too busy for me to even just get a couple hours to myself. I did, however, feel like that's how it should be, and like I didn't deserve to ask for anything- with all that's been happening. But even yesterday while Big Hunk was at his baseball game (he plays every Sunday) I decided to take the kids to church just because I needed a break from them. I seriously don't remember the last time I've had a couple hours away from them without it being for something like grocery shopping. ;)

So last night while I was heading to church, he told me he had an idea. This morning before he left for work he told me to drop the kids off at his office and he'd take them to see Wall-E (which I have not kept a secret AT ALL that I have no desire to watch!! lol). He only said that I could go out and do something while he took the kids.

Well he just called and said I could drop the kids off at 1pm; he was going to take the kids and our nephew to see the movie, and I can go to the day spa for about 4 1/2 hours.

:D :D :D

I hate going by myself, but I so need this! He was getting mad when I said I couldn't do that, so I guess I have no choice. lol I can just go sit out by the pool and read a book the whole time, after lather myself up in mud. This will be a nice day.

***************ETA:
LOL! I texted my friend Gabe to tell him his wife had to go with me to the spa. He started getting all cranky saying they couldn't afford it and they had 6 kids at their house (their 3 plus their neice and our friends' 2) blah blah blah. Well I told BH so he called Gabe. Tom: "Dude. Heather is going to the spa with Mel today. My treat. Bring the kids over, we're taking them to the movies." LOL So it's going to be the 2 of them with NINE kids. ROFL I can only imagine how freaking expensive that is going to be. And because I wanted our other friend Darci to go (that I just met and LOVE- she is the one whose kids Gabe & Heather are watching) she is going too! It's going to be fun. :) I'm leaving in 1/2 hour!!

So beautiful.

I just found this video on a blog I frequent often. It is exactly what I needed.

An arteest.

I mentioned in my earlier post that Mikey just had his last art class today. He took a 2 day a week workshop for the past two weeks from this AMAZING artist that we have come to adore. We met her for the first time down at Spirit West Coast last month in San Diego, but turns out she lives just a few miles from us. :-) I love this woman. Never have I met a more talented, God-loving and God-serving artist in my life.

Well that day we bought two of her paintings. We must have visited her booth 12 times that day in between concerts, and we loved ALL of her artwork so we couldn't decide what to get. So we started out with this cool patriotic painting that she had actually just painted the day before (at SWC) that Big Hunk loved. We immediately took that out to our car and pondered our next one. lol It was a hard choice!

She had so many others that we LOVED. Several different types of Jesus' profile (my favorite being one that was red, green & yellow- very me); two separate paintings of a boy and a girl on their knees praying; a beautiful painting with a monarch butterfly... We seriously were giving ourselves ulcers. Well, after our gazillionth visit we finally made up our minds. We had decided on this:



A picture could not even begin to do it justice. I fell in love with it at first sight, but you can't truly appreciate it and all it means until you watch this. (Seriously. Watch it! ;))I was in complete awe and love with it from that moment. It just has so much meaning. The finished product at the very very end of the video is what we have- but the video is what makes the painting so amazingly special to us. And what is even more awesome about her paintings is that every one of them has things hidden. This one, for instance, when you look at it from an angle (so that you can see the light reflecting off the glaze) has several words scratched into the surface like heaven, joy, forgiven, etc. It's so beautiful. Other paintings are painted over pages of the Bible, or have mustard seeds painted into it, among other things.

So naturally, when we found out she was doing summer workshops for kids, we couldn't pass it up! Even if Mikey decided that he didn't like art that much after this, the fact that we'd have 4 originals of this legend made it worth it. Something we'll definitely treasure forever!

But turns out Mike LOVED his art classes and Charlene is madly in love with him now, and we may even sign him up for a second session later this summer (next week if Mikey has his choice). (When I picked him up from his first class she said she just wanted to make him cookies. lol) And he did so well!! I think he really needs to do stuff like this- get out with other kids and have someone other than his mom teaching him all the time. I love homeschooling, but I think just a couple times a week once in a while he needs this. He created 4 paintings- a Monet style of lilypads in a pond; a tuscany style with a house on a hill; a still life of a pitcher of flowers (probably his best) and a small red white and blue one of some blue stars on a white canvas. Click here to see Charlene's video from today, with Mikey on it. :) He's the cutie with the lisp. And just you try not to fall in love with him too!! (I keep watching the video over and over again, and he is so freaking cute!! Gosh I love that kid.)

If you like Charlene's work, her website is www.worshipthruart.com She also puts up new videos on YouTube and GodTube every Thursday, so you can even subscribe to those to get emailed when she has a new one. She is one awesome woman!!

Q: Melody? A: Absent

I haven't posted here in ages. There has been a lot going on in our lives, so this blog has been the least of my worries.

The kids are well. Ikey just celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday and her party is this weekend. To say she's excited would be the understatement of the year!! We began counting down to her birthday probably about 2 weeks ago, and she was the happiest girl when we woke her up with our singing (I know, yikes) yesterday. But she still refuses to believe she's 4 until her party, and she is looking forward to her party more than I've ever seen her excited for something! It's so cute. She keeps asking me "How many sleeps Mommy?" and she corrects me every time I say "party" by saying "No Mommy. My birthday pawty." LOL We are having a Littlest Pet Shop party but Mommy has been a real slacker. Normally I am all gung-ho with their parties but with getting back from vacation 2 1/2 weeks ago, Mikey's K graduation and all the other chaos surrounding us, she's getting minimal. ;) But we're having about 35 people over (over half of those kids) for swimming, lunch and a pinata.

Mikey is doing well! Like I said, he just graduated Kindergarten! I really need to share those pics. Well, tons of pics actually. He just got done today with an art workshop with our new favorite artist Charlene Rice (check her out!! We <3 her!!) and he did so well. She fell in love with him, understandably. ;) She only lives 2 miles from us, though we "found" her when we visited her booth at Spirit West Coast last month in San Diego. She is an AMAZING artist and we adore her!! We bought two of her awesome paintings that weekend in SD, and can't wait to get more! But now we have Mikey originals and those are even better. :)

Anyway, Mikey's birthday is next month, and he'll be 6! He's so happy to be all done with school for the summer and did SO well last year. I can't believe he'll be in 1st grade now!

Well, I need to get things done for Ikey's party this weekend: pinata and loot bags filled, food planned, etc. Bye!

Tornado watch

We are in Michigan right now; this is actually our last night. For the past week we had been staying in Northern Michigan but drove back down to Detroit this afternoon for our flight tomorrow.

I know that tornado watches aren't a big deal to a lot of people that live out here (or other areas that have them), but I will just say they scare the crap out of me! Just like people always say they could never live in CA because of the earthquakes, I always shrug that off because we get SO few- and ones that are never too serious at that. But why is it every time I come to Michigan there is severe weather?

Last year (to the day) when Mikey & I came out here with my mom, our first night at my grandpa's house we had massive thunderstorms and supposedly a tornado watch. I was so nonchalant before we went to bed (and before the storm hit) but when I woke up at 2am to loud thunder and almost constant lightning, my teeth were chattering and I couldn't stop saying the name of Jesus! Now, here we are again and as we sat at the Tigers game I watched the evening sky go from a beautiful blue to an intimidating gray.

I can say though that I feel safer here than I did a few days ago! At least here we're on the bottom floor of the hotel!

I know we'll be fine and the more massive storms are hitting in IN, but I'll be happy to be away from this. :)

M to the I

Today is day 5 that we've been up in northern Michigan visiting my grandpa. We have had the BEST time and though we're not leaving here until Friday, I am already missing it here so much.

In the 5 days we've been up here we have rafted 10 miles down the Au Sable River, visited Mackinac Island (my new favorite place on earth) and biked 10 miles- and bought tons of fudge!, went bowling, kayaked and went out on the paddle boat, and have gone to our favorite ice cream house twice (so far!). Yet with all the fun we've had and the time we've spent with my grandpa and his wife, it is all marked with a hint of sadness because I am so so sad to be leaving here in two days. I already miss my grandpa so so much.

I feel like I could spend the next 3 years with him and it wouldn't be enough. Why is it you don't really appreciate your grandparents and the time you get to spend with them until you're older (as are they) and your time together is so seldom? My grandpa is 78 years old and I don't know how much time I have left with him, but I wish I could just move here now and spend every moment with him.

My grandpa just adores Ikey. It is so cute. He has only seen her once before, and she was just a month old. She just has him wrapped around her little finger. :) My grandpa never smiles much, but the few times I have seen him grin ear-to-ear the past few days are when Ikey is in his sights. Today we went out for ice cream and she kept making funny faces while she ate her bright yellow, red & blue ice cream. He couldn't take his eyes off her and would laugh at every little thing she did. She could ask him to rope the moon in full daylight and he'd find a way to do it.

Like I mentioned, we went to Mackinac Island on Monday. My gosh, how I love that place!! Mikey & I had gone last year when we came out here with my mom, but I never realized how much of the island we had missed! I think last year all we saw was several fudge shops (they are 10 feet apart there!) and the Butterfly House. So this year we rented bikes (Mikey on a tandem with Big Hunk & Ikey in a toddler seat) and went the 8.5 miles all the way around the island. I took sooo many photos. The kids had a blast too, and were so worn out! Mikey was falling asleep on the ferry ride back and slept so good that night. :)

Well, we're about to watch a movie. Bye!

Lovin my life!

Wow, what a fast weekend! I couldn't believe it last night when I realized we were about to start our week over again, but the great ones often do go quickly. ;)

What an awesome Mother's Day. I had the best day, and wish I could do it all over again. First off, we had my parents and my sister's family over for a BBQ Saturday night, and that went really well. Everyone came over about 4pm and we spent the evening swimming, eating and hanging out. This was only the second time the cousins have really gotten to hang out much since Thanksgiving, and they had a blast together. And boy did I give birth to two little fishies!! My kids love swimming SOOO much!! Ikey is full-on swimming now! She has always loved the water (which made us quite fearful when she would dive right in) and it has always just clicked with her. Mikey learned how to swim exactly a year ago-- last Mother's Day when we spent the weekend in Palm Springs-- but looks like Ikey wanted an earlier start.

So anyway, my sister and parents left our house at 9:30pm and 10:30 pm, respectively. I didn't get to sleep in too much yesterday because I wanted to go to church, and even the 11:30am service had me getting up 2 1/2 hours ahead of time to get ready. ;) But BH and the kids surprised me with a yummy Starbucks breakfast and coffee,and tons of goodies that were mine all mine. The best part was the cards though; I was a basketcase reading them!! I literally had tears pouring out of my eyes as I saw that Ikey had written "Mommy" for the first time, and the beautiful cards the kids had made me at my Bible study last week. Then, my sweet husband got me a beautiful card that took my breath away with the amazing things he wrote. I really am so blessed. And thankful.

We went to church, then just spent the day around the pool after lunch. We really weren't used to getting home from church so late! LOL We are usually home by 11:30am so it seemed like the whole day flew. After swimming for a couple hours we took the kids to see Speed Racer, and we went out to dinner afterwards.

It was an absolutely perfect day.

Now we are off to our busy week! I have my final mandatory homeschool meeting tonight (where did the year go?), Bible Study tomorrow morning (again, my final one until September) at which we will also have two baby showers, our monthly women's fellowship and study tomorrow night, Awana for the kids Wednesday, and a pizza party on Friday for Mikey's reading incentive program. Dude! The kid didn't know how to read anything but his name when he started school in September, and as of the final count in March (which clearly doesn't even count what he's read April & May) he had read 786 pages!!! I am so so proud of him!! He has BY FAR exceeded my expectations for this school year. I can't believe that next month he'll be promoted to 1st grade! It has been the most fun, rewarding year homeschooling him. Now I know not every year will feel this way, but I have had the best time and am looking forward to next year!

Well, gotta get some stuff done! I have to figure out something to bake for tomorrow's baby shower, and get some more unpacked. I am skipping a trip to the old house today just so I can focus on stuff that needs to be done here. So much to do!

Oh my.

When did I get so old?? Seriously. I feel like I went to bed one night (coincidentally, before moving), and woke up the next morning with not even NEAR enough energy to get through the day!!

I have been on my feet all day, and I finally have to call it quits. Unpacking, cleaning (I feel like I've been cleaning my kitchen for 3 days and am just NOW done!), playing with the kids, shopping... it never ends. And now I have to get up early in the morning so I can sweep and mop this gargantuan of a house before Mike's baseball game (you know, before the 2 hour drive to Malibu, a one hour game, then a 2 hour drive home!), so my parents and sister's family can come over. I can't even tell you how much tile is in this freaking house. All of upstairs (the bedrooms) is carpet, but all downstairs is this really pretty tile (I believe marble, but I'm not sure) except for two small areas. Like I can sit here at the computer and look clear across the house and see nothing but tile. Thaaat's gonna be a fun morning.

Ike is in her bed for the first night tonight, and I'm praying she sleeps well. She has been in our bed every night since we moved, and I feel like I'm getting no sleep. Of course, having her clear down the hallway might not be too good for my sleep either, but we got a monitor today to ease my worries. And not even of her safety! But because that child is a little stinker! One night, quite a while back (a year and a half?), we had rabbits and had gotten them a large cage. We put it in the living room, and that night, I woke up to see the hall light was on. I saw that she was gone from her bed, and as I rolled my eyes and sighed down the hallyway, I found her IN the cage with the rabbits. IN it!! Not just her head, her whole freaking body. At like 3 o'clock in the morning!!! Other times have found her sneaking candy out of the pantry, etc. So needless to say we always put a gate up after that so she couldn't get down the hall, but hence the monitor now. ;) The playroom is right next to her bedroom so I can already see the wheels turning, thinking of a midnight Barbie party.

So not much planned for Mother's Day, but I am so looking forward to it! It's one of my favorite days of the year, being I can expect to be spoiled without looking selfish. LOL Like I said, my parents and sister & her family are coming over tomorrow evening to BBQ (can't wait to try a new shrimp skewers recipe!). Then, we will head to church Sunday morning and hang out the rest of the day. This is one of the few weekends Tom doesn't have baseball, so I will take full advantage of having him home on a Sunday! If the weather cooperates, we'll probably just spend the day out by the pool in the sun. Of course the weather was chilly and overcast all day today though, so we'll see. It changes constantly.

Well I hope everyone has a fabulous Mommy's Day!! ((hugs))

Oy, what a week.

We are all (sorta) moved into our new house. We still have til the end of the month to get out of our old one, so sadly that is not much of a motivator to get done early. Yet it's still looming over our heads and I can't wait to just be done with that house.

If anyone were to come over my house right now, they'd surely wonder what in the world I've done with my time. So, I'd show them my nicely lined kitchen cupboards and pray they'd understand how very long it took to wipe down every cupboard and drawer (because the last tenants definitely did not do it the entire time they were here!).

I've unpacked ONE box.

I am now in the process of stripping the dirty, peeling shelf paper from my gigantic pantry before I can even put our food in there.

But I really shouldn't complain about all of this because this house is wonderful and we are so blessed.

So bees are a blessing, right? ;) Because we have thousands. They weren't there the first few days we were here, but yesterday while I was out swimming with the kids I noticed quite a few swarming around this one corner of our yard. Sure enough, there were even more by the time Big Hunk got home from his baseball game, and we could tell they were all going under this large plastic rock that's there. So, Hunkie decided to give them all a bath last night. ;) You would not believe the PILE of bees after he did that. It was disgusting. But, most of them were still alive and kicking today. So needless to say no swimming for a couple days. He got some bee killer tonight and hopefully that will do the trick, because a local exterminator wanted to charge $250 to take care of it!!

I started this entry on Monday, and it's now Tuesday night. I am so stinking tired. I am getting NO down time right now, so by the end of the day I am just wiped out. Tuesdays are always a bit crazy anyway, but today especially. I had Bible study this morning (only one more week until we break for the summer) then after that the kids & I headed over to the old house to load up some stuff and knocking down my to-do list there. I only planned on staying a little bit, but we ended up being there until like 5pm (we got there about noon) and Tom had to pick up dinner on his way home. Augh. I got a lot done there, but nothing done at the new house and we are still living out of boxes. I hate having to dig through stacks and stacks of clothes to find something to wear.

Well I'm tired and I should go because I don't want to do anything but complain. ;)

Hairs cut

Okay! It's all gone! 12 inches of ponytail now sits in a Ziploc bag on my counter, and is all ready to be shipped off to Locks of Love. And, I have lost about a pound and a half during this process, just showing WHY I always felt so frumpy with all this hair on my head. LOL

A couple befores...

Right before going on the chopping block!


Last month, Easter



Long braids I won't be seeing in a while!




This was in Feb, right before a trim- prob the longest it got to. Yuck.



And drumroll please...






And this is the back...




I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! And I am madly in love with my new hairdresser. :) She is awesome! She is exactly what I wanted in a hairdresser- someone that would listen to what I wanted and really took the time to make it look like it should. I have been deprived all these years!! Both Cecilia and I got our hair done (she got a cut, I got a cut and color) and we were there 3 1/2 hours!! But we are both so happy- Cecilia looks so freaking good! I have to tell her to send me her before and afters. ;) She has the most flawless skin, and I told her she looked like Kate Beckinsale when she was done. She's beautiful!! Anyway, this hairdresser is mine forever and I will never never go back to my old one!

All the haps.

Last night I went to the BarlowGirl concert with my friend C. Oh. My. Gosh. It was so stinking awesome!! If I didn't adore them before, I am just in LOVE now. That was the best concert I have ever been to, and I can't wait to see them again!! The church they were at was a relatively small sanctuary (compared to most concert venues) so even though our seats were closer to the back, it was still a great view. They gave the best concert!! I am so in love with them!

It has been years since I went to a Christian concert- probably like 6 or 7 years when we used to go to these big Good Friday shows in Orange County (where we got to see Jeremy Camp before he even had an album out!). But I have forgotten how amazing it is to be in this ridiculously crowded room with tons of people and loud music that hurts your ears, with people lifting their hands and praising God. It's just such a beautiful thing.

And it was so great hanging out with my friend C! We never get to hang out because we're both so busy, so the only times we really get to see one another is at Bible Study or if we run into each other at church. But we always have so much fun and so much to talk about (I swear, never a quiet second!); I adore that girl.

(**Oh my gosh. We're watching a movie and Jackie Chan stuck a baby up his shirt to hide it, and then it started to nurse on him. LOL Jackie Chan's face was priceless as they kept showing the baby suckling on him while he's still trying to pretend it's not there.**)

We're in Malibu for the weekend; Mike had his first baseball game this morning! He did so well, and he had a blast. I swear, it seems like just a year ago we were taking my stepson Cracker Jack to his first baseball game.

Because I'm clearly never going to get to a more in-depth, personal update, I guess I should hit everything I can. ;) I am constantly wanting to sit and just pour my heart out, but I never have even a second.

Well, about a month ago, actually the day I got home from my women's retreat, I took a pregnancy test and it confirmed what I already knew- that I was pregnant!! I was SO overjoyed and Big Hunk was so surprised (I think after 4 kids he still doesn't know how it happens)! But, on March 10- just 8 days after I had found out- I lost the baby. :*( I was so upset, but I know God had a plan. And one day, when I see Him in Paradise, I will be with my two beautiful babies again forever. Of course it has been hard, but I have no choice but to get through it.

And, in other news that is consuming our lives, we are moving soon. Our lease is up June 1st and even though our landlord would probably let us stay longer (since the market is so bad right now and he'd probably have a hard time selling), we have just put off a bigger yard for the kids long enough. We've been at our house 2 years and the kids can never even play outside because our yard is literally the size of a patio. So we've been looking for the past few weeks. We had originally thought of moving out here to Malibu and found a house we really liked, but of course the rent out here is just ridiculous, and we thought of what an amazing house we could get in other areas for less than half we'd be paying here. We found a house in one town over that we LOVED but it didn't work out. So, right now we have a proposal in on a house that is HUGE. It is just beautiful!! By staying in an area relatively close to where we are now, we are wanting to stay at our church and closer to my parents, so this house (and others we're looking at) are perfect for those reasons. But this one has a huge yard and a pool, even with a big playground for the kids- and security cameras all over so we can watch the kids! LOL But, we shall see what the Lord has in store for us. Whatever it is, we know it's good!

Burdened beyond belief.

I am so heartbroken. After reading everyday (sometimes over and over again) what someone is going through, my soul is weary from making intercession. Sometimes, we don't receive explanations this side of heaven. Angie, the wife of one of the members of the group Selah, is going through a time most of us can only fear. She is about 32 weeks pregnant, and back in January her baby girl was diagnosed as terminal- having an enlarged heart, and undeveloped lungs because of lack of amniotic fluid. You can follow her journey here. After much prayer and medical advice, they are delivering their baby girl Audrey by c-section next Monday, April 7th. Just reading about the intense emotions surrounding them is saddening, but that they also have 3 other daughters that are experiencing all of this as well just breaks my heart.

Just a few minutes ago I was putting Mikey to bed. I didn't want to leave him. I am reminded of how few our days are with our children, no matter how healthy they are. One day, even if I live to be 80 and my children outlive me, it will seem like the blink of an eye. As I was singing "Every change reminds me of how the years have flown. I cherish each step that you take, and I praise God for change, though it makes my heart break..." I couldn't help but cry. The past 5.5 years being a mom have flown. How in the world am I going to look back on 18 years of parenting and think it was enough?

Today the kids were watching as I moved all of their keepsakes into bigger boxes (Holy cow do I save everything!). Seeing their homecoming outfits, hospital bracelets, ultrasound photos, first artwork, etc just blew me away. I swear, it was just yesterday that I was choosing homecoming outfits for Mikey's birth (we didn't know what we were having), or decorating the house for Ike's baby shower. Even if I had a hundred years, it would not be enough. I'm not ready for my kids to grow. Yet, in complete disobedience, they do it everyday. With no regard for my feelings whatsoever.

Mikey lost his first tooth yesterday. Well, second really, but this is the first he's pulled out (the other he broke when he was a baby and it kept breaking off until almost nothing was left, and the dentist finally pulled it out recently). Someone stop time! He'll be in first grade next year! Ike is going to be four this summer!

Okay- another song I love says "I'll never catch all the memories I'm chasing, I'll never be ready to let go." Holy crap am I in a sentimental mood tonight. But I just hurt so much for Angie, and I don't want to look back on all the years I did have with my kids, and see how much I missed. I want to see what I experienced with them. How I played with them. How every single day was filled with laughter and kisses. But most of all, I hope they see that too.

This video was posted at one of my favorite sites, and I had to post it here. It made me cry like a little baby.

Easter pics!

I can't tell you how long I've been meaning to post pictures. Maybe eventually I'll get to an update as well.

Yay!!

Woo hoo!!

Just bought our BarlowGirl concert tickets for April 4th! I'm so excited! It's for charity, and you couldn't beat the $20 ticket price!!

YAAAAAAY!

My sweet husband is so great because he couldn't have cared less about going, but knew how much I wanted to go. :)

**********************
I need to make an update- so much has been going on and it's been overwhelming. I will try to do that this weekend while we're relaxing and have nothing going on!

A relaxing weekend

I have soooo been looking forward to this weekend. For months! It's our annual women's retreat, and I am leaving in about an hour. I seriously look forward to this retreat probably more than I do anything else all year (except obvious stuff, like my kids' birthdays and such). It's just such an amazing time of fellowship, GREAT teaching and just being in the Lord with no distractions. Oh, I can't wait.

This year my SIL is going with me. She doesn't know the Lord, so I've been doing some massive praying for her in hopes her heart will be prepared. I know the Lord will be moving in tremendous ways, and I am always in anticipation of how the Lord will touch my heart this time.

On our way down (it's a little over 1/2 hour away) we're dropping Ike off at my mom's house. We start off with dinner at 7pm tonight then a teaching afterwards. Then tomorrow our day is pretty packed with breakfast (at 8am I believe), a teaching, then 2 workshops of our choosing, a little freetime, then dinner and another teaching. Saturdays usually go pretty late, but I find that's my favorite time. :) Then Sunday we're up early for breakfast and our last service, and we head home after lunch. And yummy macaroons!!

The kids have been a little sick this week; we had to skip school and any outings for a couple days and they finally seem to be over it. Of course now Big Hunk has it though, so I'm hoping he can cope with all 3 kids well enough while I'm gone (he's watching my nephew as well). We had the housekeeper come today though, so at least the house is clean- a load off both our shoulders. That means he doesn't have to do much while I'm gone, and I didn't have to stress about it before leaving.

We signed up Mikey for T-ball. :D I can't wait til he starts. He's played little programs through the city, but this is his first time in Little League. We signed him up in Malibu since we're always out there, so he starts practices next week, then has games every Saturday in April & May. Darn. Another reason to go to Malibu. ;)

Well, I should make sure I've got everything together. I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend!!

Thaaaanks.

I need to start documenting things that happen with the kids, because there's no way I'll remember them all!

This morning after Ikey went potty and was pulling up her underwear (on her way to the living room) I started chasing her and saying "I'm gonna get your booty!" I pinched her booty and said "I got it. It's my booty!" and she says "Mom, it's mine! Yours is big."

LOL Coming from anyone else I might have taken offense to that.

So I can remember

Mike was saying his prayers tonight before bed. (Roxy is our dog.) :)

He said "And God, thank you for Roxy. She's a good girl but sometimes she doesn't listen. Can you fix that please?"

I love that boy.

~Rejoicing~

Today finds us in beautiful Malibu, relaxing as much as is possible with two attention-starved children. Except it's not all that beautiful because for the gazillionth time since Christmas, it is cold and overcast, and quite yucky. I think Hunk's heard me about 50 times (today) say how much I hate winter.

We just got home from running around for a bit. We were originally supposed to drive out to Pasadena with our friends D & J so they could get new cellphones, but they couldn't make it at the last second so we just wandered out with the kids. Seems like they rarely get out of the house sometimes, so we owed them. So, we just got a yummy lunch and headed over to Target for some totally unnecessary spending. Well, Mama did need some new underwear since I never packed any for myself when we left home. LOL Funny how you can remember every single thing for every member of your family, and forget THE most important thing for yourself.

Today the Lord has really placed on my heart the emotional roller coaster we've been on the past 12 years. Namely the times we hit rock bottom. It's just so amazing to see where we've been, and be able to rejoice over those lessons and those trials.

When Mikey was just under a year, we got evicted from our home. We spent the next 2 months living in hotels; one in which Mike took his first steps. Any money Big Hunk made went to pay for the hotel, and eating out every night because we had no other choice. After that, we were invited to live in someone's guest house almost free, and we stayed in this ridiculously tiny "home" for another 2 months. But it wasn't a home at all- it had one bedroom (loft) where the 5 of us slept (when the boys were over) and a teeny tiny living space (or lack of!) that you could barely walk through with our TV and two chairs.

But God answered prayers, and proved himself faithful- just as He always is. Our attorney arranged for us to move into the rental he was leaving, and we then had a nice home in a great neighborhood- still close to the boys. We had Ikey there, and were there for 2 years.

Of course, because life is full of ups and downs, we hit rock bottom-again- a short time after we moved out of that house. Hunk was out of work and we couldn't pay our rent, and I got pregnant and lost my baby. We were evicted again, but you know what? There was no doubt in our minds that we would somehow get through it. We knew God had a plan, and had His hand on us. Sure it was tough- it was incredibly tough. But we were able to look to the future with anticipation of what the Lord had in store for us. And we knew it was good!

Even through the worst times in our lives, we KNEW God was preparing a way for us. We didn't always have the best of faith- there were so many times that either Hunk or I were lifting the other up because we just couldn't see the end of the tunnel. But we got through it, and as we look back now we can thank God for those times, and know the lessons we were meant to take away from it all.

And, perhaps best of all, we can look at the past and know with absolute certainty that our marriage will survive through it all. Because it already has. And for that I am so so thankful. To know that in our lives we've been slammed with the darkest days, and that each day we woke up to a new sunrise- together. By the grace of God.

Fun week

Do you ever wonder how in the world you ever kept yourself busy before kids? I seriously feel like I am always running in 9 different directions, with at least 100 items on my to-do list, and 5 things planned each day. Per kid! ;) All I can ever think of that I used to do is work. We were truly too broke to ever do much of anything, but I know I felt busy at the time! Oh, if only I'd have known...

It's been a nice week so far; we just got home from Malibu late yesterday morning. Sunday had to be the most beautiful day ever. The sky was so clear from windstorms the night before, and the weather was in the mid-70's-- perfect for the beach. In the late afternoon we did just that, and it was gorgeous. Couldn't have been a more perfect day. I of course got a bazillion photos and tried uploading them Sunday, but you know how that goes. ;) Maybe after the kids are in bed tonight.

On Saturday night we had our good friends over for dinner, and we had an absolute blast. I seriously don't remember the last time I have laughed that hard- my head hurt after they left! LOL We have only gotten to really know D & J over the past couple weeks, but it's one of the few times in our lives when we have just totally clicked with a couple, and we have such a great time with them. There isn't even a single pause in conversation (or laughter) and we just have so much to talk about. And they love my children to boot! ;)

BH just found out a little while ago from D that they are heading into the hospital tonight to have their baby! :D I'm so thrilled! Since I didn't get to talk to her I am assuming that because today is her due date and she had a doctor's appt, they may be inducing her (D had a 20 minute conversation with Tom so I can't imagine she's in labor right now LOL). I know she wasn't opposed to the idea of induction. So I'm sooo excited that I will get to meet her new baby on Thursday when we head back up there, if we don't go to the hospital tomorrow. I guess I am just super excited for her because this is her first baby (his fourth, but the youngest is 11) and everything is just so new and foreign. I so remember those days! When you feel like labor will NEVER come, and you have no clue what things will be like. I can't wait to see this beautiful baby! :)

Speaking of babies, if you think of it, can you please keep someone in your prayers? A girl in my Bible study had her baby boy on Friday, and Saturday he went in for heart surgery- I guess the two arteries are switched around. I don't know any specific details, but he has to go back in on Friday for open-heart surgery. :( If you can please just keep the momma and baby Jeremiah in your prayers, I know they would appreciate it. I can't imagine going through this!

Well, dinner is almost ready. My house is the biggest disaster in history since we've hardly been home the past few weeks, so I need to get it picked up before we head out again. ;)

Instead of taking down Christmas...

I will sit here at my very cluttered desk in my extremely messy office of my DESTROYED house to blab to my heart's content. Makes sense.

We got home from Malibu yesterday evening, in just enough time to feed Mike and throw him on over to Awana (Ike didn't want to go last night, and being we'd been stuck in the car all day and were all exhausted, we didn't make her). But in the midst of catching up on the laundry I didn't do in Malibu-- which, by the way is next to impossible when you've run out of detergent, just to let you know-- and trying to clean the utter CHAOS that is my house when we get back from a trip, Big Hunk tells me he wants to go back tomorrow. Mind you I did not utter a single dispute, but my house sure as heck may argue.

On top of that, a little while ago he calls me back for the millionth time to tell me our friends want us to come back to Malibu tonight for dinner. Uh huh. This at 3:45pm when I've JUST gotten done unpacking everything, and we'd still have the 2 hour drive ahead of us. Hmm.

Speaking of which, our friends (same ones) never came over for dinner on Monday- the wife, "J", is due in 5 days and didn't feel up to it. But seeing as how she is ready to pop at any moment and is completely miserable, I am more than willing to cook dinner for them this weekend. It's funny because Big Hunk and this guy are totally hysterical. We've only known them a short time (in passing for about 4 months, but gotten to know them well the past couple weeks) but now BH & D get all excited about playing baseball together this year (Big Hunk is starting his own team) and I'd swear D was giddy calling BH to come over for dinner tonight, by the way BH tells it. But J & I have really hit it off and I adore her. I'm curious how I'll scare this one off. ;) It's inevitable, it seems. I must be too boring because it's very rare that people I meet blossom into friends.

So I guess we're back out of dodge tomorrow. My poor kitty needs some attention, so maybe I should bring him with us too! ;) A cat and giant dog in the car- that will be fun!

Well, my nephew is over playing with the kids so I should take advantage of them being distracted and actually get something done. How's that for rambling about absolutely nothing??

For some reason I wanted to remember this...

LOL Who knows why! I guess I just wanted to document how goofy my husband is and how I LOVE that we totally get each other- and our senses of humor.

We were at Disneyland on Tuesday and in the window of a store, there was a child-size mannequin, with no head, and a Nemo hat where the kid's head should have been. So Big Hunk starts rambling, in a way only he can, about how the kid has a fish head. And the kid wanted to be a real boy like Pinocchio, but he was only a fish, so King Tritan said "He shall be a real boy, and we shall call him Salomon!!"

I was laughing hysterically (how in the world does someone think of stuff like that on the spot?) while Ryan rolled his eyes until you could only see the whites- in a way only a teenager can.

Nothing to say.

Good morning! Well, I know it's already 1:30pm, but the day is just going to fast and I'm stuck in morning mode, sorry. ;)

I'm trying to get out of my cruddy mood, for which I really have no excuse. We're in Malibu and have been here since Thursday. We've just been relaxing (and yay! working out!) and hanging out- so I don't know if it just that or not- that we've pretty much been indoors nonstop since Thurs except for a couple runs to the store and a trip on Saturday to this little shopping center and playground. We've had some massive rain for the past couple days, and today is the first we've seen of the sun. But honestly, we so needed some time to just do nothing. We're having fun, but in my selfish moments I think it just is sometimes an adjustment for me to have my stepson here (18, goes to school in Arizona) and it throws me for a loop to have this MAN moping around, grunting, and eating all the food in the house. Just as I'm sure it's an adjustment for him to be around a 5 & 3 year old nonstop. ;) And, I'm sure my period is just around the corner too. Yuck.

But tomorrow we're going to Disneyland and I am SOOO excited. Well, I'm excited any time we get to go, but I'm excited that my stepson is going with us. We haven't gone with him since Mikey was a baby, so this will be fun!

We're having friends over for dinner tonight and I think that's another reason for my mood. I'm used to cooking dinner for close friends (that in turn won't judge me for my yucky meal LOL), but these are new friends and I guess I'm just a bit nervous. :) The wife I've actually only met in passing, and though Big Hunk has spoken with both of them extensively (including hanging out at their apartment- in our same complex here- for 5 hours on Sat) I just need to be put at ease. I'm sure it will be fine. I've got a roast in the crockpot, but if for some reason it doesn't come out right then I should know in enough time to order pizza. LOL! Besides, I think they are mostly just coming over so the guys can watch the football game, so as long as I make some munchies they'll be happy.

Well, I need to get this place cleaned up so we can start on schoolwork after lunch. Hope everyone is having a great day!

Dude!!

I just learned that Tim LaHaye (co-author of the Left Behind series) is going to be a guest speaker at our church next month. So freaking awesome!!