Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thankful for it all

Happy Turkey Day!! I have been wanting to make a bit more organized post before now, but since it looks like that will never happen, guess I'll just settle for the thrown together type. ;)

Today was Big Hunk's birthday (39!) and we had a great day. Hopefully he feels the same way. We started off the day by letting him sleep in til about 10am (or later, I can't remember now since 12 hours have passed), then smothered him with a few presents as soon as he had the sleep wiped from his eyes. ;) It was totally his call to spend the day as he wished, but he was so sweet to choose to do stuff the kids would want to do, and we all had a blast. We headed out to Arcadia (where we used to live) to first see a movie, then went to this awesome play place that the kids would live in if they could. We stayed there for almost 2 1/2 hours (getting incredibly worn out in the process) and then ate out so the kids could fall asleep in the car during the 40 minute drive. They were so wiped out!!

I'm having a hard time this Thanksgiving. *sigh* It helps that I have the distraction of getting my house and food ready for Thanksgiving dinner, but it's still a sad time. First, tomorrow marks the 2-year anniversary since I lost my precious baby. :*( The approaching date has already been fresh in my mind, but it hit me hard when we were sitting at dinner tonight and Ever the Same by Rob Thomas came on. Every time I've ever heard that song, it has been a constant reminder of the little life we lost, and it makes me miss her so much. You see, it was the song playing on TV during my actual miscarriage, and it has been an extremely special song to me ever since. It's such a beautiful song anyway, but it just touches my heart so much. So hearing that in the middle of our dinner was kind of mood killer to an otherwise awesome day.

Second, because music is such a huge part of me, we will change this evening's soundtrack to Homesick by MercyMe. ;-) Ah, so many things going through this little head of mine. Well, as some of you may know, my grandma passed away on December 29th last year. She had been diagnosed with gallbladder cancer in January, and did pretty darn well until about September, when she went downhill rather quickly. On December 1st she came to live with us, and I had no idea how little time I'd have with her before she went to be with the Lord. Last Thanksgiving was the last time we all had together as a family before she got really bad, and when she was herself. I remember the day so clearly. My uncle dropped her off at my house and it was her first day using her walker because her strength was starting to go. She was so happy about being to eat a good Thanksgiving dinner, because for months she had deprived herself of the foods she'd loved because of the vomiting and nausea she had endured, but by now she was on medication to help and knew to just eat in moderation. We had a really good day. My grandma even brought Christmas presents for all her great-grandkids because she didn't know if she'd get to see them for Christmas. :*(

I have just have so many emotions right now, but I need to get some work done before I go to bed. I have a big dinner to cook tomorrow (woo hoo!) and still have stuff to do to my house before everyone comes over.

I hope everyone has a very blessed Thanksgiving Day!! Love you all!

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