I just don't even know what's going on right now! Things are so freaking weird right now and between my head spinning to keep up and being on the verge of tears (or full on sobbing, it goes back and forth), I feel like I'll be admitted to the funny farm anyday. Let's just say I had a huge post drafted earlier, and in just the past couple hours things changed and it all became old news. ;)
In a nutshell, because I have no desire to dwell on ANYTHING right now... My 30th birthday is on Saturday and despite original plans to have a nice birthday party, it has now become a trip to Malibu (that part I'm super excited about) with just the 4 of us and my parents because no one else can make it. Even Cracker Jack, because he ever so sweetly let us know today that if we didn't pick him up at the time HE wanted (instead of our court-apointed time, 3pm), he would not be coming over. (Then telling us that he didn't want to come over anyway, and that it's his decision if he comes over, not ours. He's sweet, I tell ya.) This is all after I specifically asked him last weekend to make sure he doesn't cancel on us, because it was important to me that he be here for my birthday (I can't even remember the last year he was here for it).
What else? Oh, my sister isn't coming this weekend either because she already made other plans to visit a relative of her husband's (hello- we're celebrating ON my birthday. It's not like she didn't know!).
I think that's it. Besides being kinda broke and I don't even know if I can go get my toenails painted (I'm not even asking for a pedicure!), I think that's it. And really- it's not a pity party. Just a lot to take in at one time. I was totally on the ball earlier and had no problem with all of this, but it all just snowballed and now I'm in a crappy mood. ;)
I totally feel you on this. It is so weird how my mood can be fine one minute, then someone can do something or say something that somehow hits DEEP and I'm suddenly needing to be picked up off the floor. This happened to me last week in a specific situation with someone, and it really took me DOWN. I've also been having a really difficult time with my emotions being absolutely nutso since weaning of my meds (I think it takes 1-2 months for them to completely leave your body) and it's all I can do not to explode in anger 75% of my day! My poor family. :-( But it has been getting better this week and that's because I have had my nose in my Bible a lot more than usual and I'm specifically watching everything I say (or want to say) at all times. I never realized how miserable my own mouth makes me- complaining, yelling, nagging, etc. And I have found that since I've been on "Tongue Alert" the past few days that my thoughts are changing and I'm becomig over all way more peaceful. God is so stinkin' smart, I just wanna squeeze the tar outta Him (think He's got a lot of that stuff in there? Ewww.)!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry about everyone canceling on your birthday. That really has to hurt your heart. I know that when it seemed no one could make it to Jasper's party, I hurt- how much more so for your own MILESTONE birthday! If I could be there, I would, and I'd make sure my personality was big enough for a whole room full of people! You're deserving of a super, marvelous, memorable event. I will take care of my end of that shortly after I arrive!
<3 <3 <3