Black Friday Prank

Oh my gracious, you have to watch this. It started out as a cute prank for Black Friday by Improv Everywhere. It ended up with me near tears and loving them a million times more.

Urgent!!

Please please visit my friend Linny's blog and call your Senator today! This is an urgent matter and our voice needs to be heard. Our parental rights are being threatened!

friendly.

Bam.

Two posts in two weeks. How's that for consistency? Before you know it I'll bathe each morning and eat three meals a day. Who knows what could happen when you let loose a monster like me? The possibilities are endless.

After weeks of internal battling, I decided to close my Facebook account. It's a tough thing for me, but a decision I felt the Lord has been leading me to make for quite some time. I actually deactivated my account for the week and a half or so leading up to Thanksgiving, expecting it to be hard. But it was actually the opposite. I felt such relief, like I had so much more time on my hands. I guess that shows what a horrible steward of my time I am, if simply shutting myself off a website suddenly opens up my days for me, huh?

It's hard because I don't feel like I have a lot of friends I talk to much or hang out with, so in a way I feel like I'm cutting myself off from the few relationships I have. But in all honesty, Facebook tends to only feed my insecurities and make me feel lonelier than ever. I can't really put my finger on it, but it hit me when in my study of James, Beth Moore said that in today's social networking world, our relationships are a mile wide and an inch deep. I mean, we have hundreds of friends online that know what we had for lunch or where we went over the weekend, but they don't have a clue what we're really struggling with or why we cried this morning or what we pray for every night while everyone in our house sleeps. So instead of focusing my time on "liking" photos of cute puppies, I need to surrender that time to the One who can heal those hurts and can pull me close to Him when I feel lonely.

I love my friends. So much. But whatever depth of relationship I have with them, I need to never let them take priority over my God. And I guess I need to give myself a little slack and stop comparing my life with everyone else's. If a FB break is how I do that, then it is what it is.

Okay so I've spent the entire evening typing a post about how I waste too much time on Facebook. There's got to be some irony in that somewhere.

Dust.

I have seriously had a blog post rolling around in my head (with plenty of thumps, because it's a doozy) for 2 months now. I don't know why I haven't sat down to write it yet. Fear? Laziness? My guess is the fear. Because it will surely bring forth the sorrow I've tried desperately to bury for so long.

We are doing well. Tim's business has been taking a nosedive the past several months and the poor guy has been under TREMENDOUS stress. Owning a business is a faith tester, that's for sure. But a God is good, so so good. And I know we will find our way out of this labyrinth. In the meantime I wish my poor man could sleep and get a moment of peace. That seems impossible anymore.

The kids (10 & 8) are doing great. I love homeschooling them and this year had been a blast so far. I can't imagine not being home with them everyday. Mikey is playing soccer right now and while it's a lot more challenging to him than baseball (which comes as naturally as breathing), he loves it and it's so fun to watch him. He's also going to follow in Mama's running footsteps and run a 5K next month. He's so excited! He and I ran a couple miles the other night and the kid smoked me. He will have no problem running 3.1!

Ikey is no longer in dance. She wanted a change and I wanted to get away from the ill-run dance school we were part of. I miss watching her, but she'll be starting soccer with the local Christian sports league in our area. I can't wait to see her play! I was never too active as a kid and I think it's so important. I think if I had had better eating and exercise habits when I was younger, it maybe wouldn't have been so hard to discipline myself now that I'm older. But who knows. I just know it's so hard to have 2 kids and throw in the responsibilities of life while trying to completely change the way you've done things all your life.

I'm learning.

I'm leading a Bible study group this year at our church. We are doing Beth Moore's study on James. SO good. I'm also trying to tackle memorizing the whole book of James, though I'm barely at the end of the 1st chapter. Rich stuff in there though.

I'm hoping to sign up for another half-Marathon to force myself to stay in training. The past 2.5 months since I ran the Half have been a downward spiral in terms of fitness. Starting a new school year is definitely a time sucker. So I'm hoping that if I at least sign up for another one I can start back up my training and not drop the ball again this time.

Okay enough about me. ;)

Half Marathon Training- the last 3 days.

Back in February, I posted that I had registered for the Disneyland Half Marathon. That also ended up being one of my most recent blog posts... I'm nothing if not totally inconsistent. Consistently inconsistent, actually.

Anyway, with the Half Marathon in just 3 days, it's hard to sum up what these last almost 7 months have been for me. In all honesty, it has been a journey on which I never really knew what to expect, nor if I'd even reach the end. In February it was easy to click "Register" and dream lofty dreams of long Saturday runs and peaceful mornings with just the sound of my feet hitting the pavement {and of course Ice Ice Baby stroking my ear nubs}. But really, it was hard. And there were {many} times I really didn't know if I'd make it to September 2nd. A testy calf injury that crippled me for several weeks, for instance. That sucked.

But really, I am just thanking God. Because not too long ago, 4 miles seemed like an insurmountable obstacle. And when I finished that run, I had tears in my eyes and I was thanking Jesus for the strength every one of those steps required. I had done it. And I did 5 the next week, and so on. Every week has gotten harder and harder, but every week He gave me a little more strength to do a little bit more. And every time I've finished a long run in the upright position, I can't keep the smile from my face because holy cow, this might just happen. And somewhere along the way, those 4 and 5 mile runs that scared me so badly became warm-ups for my later, longer runs. And to later look at something that used to be so stinking daunting and see it now as some form of nothing... well that feels pretty darn good.

One thing I've learned? That I love running. It has become my passion. I am not good at it and good heavens I'll never be fast, but man I love it. I love that 2 days (and 30 minutes) before my 35th birthday, I'm sitting here anticipating a 13.1 mile run. Thirteen-point-freaking-one! I am more active today than I was all through my teen years or my 20's, and you know what? That feels freaking awesome. That I'm accomplishing something I never dreamed I could, and causes people to look at me like I'm crazy. Sure I was skinny before I had kids, but I wasn't fit. I was just a stick figure with no muscle and no shape. Now, halfway to my 70th birthday, I've got little-bitty muscles and am finally starting to eat like a grown up (okay so not all of it is good, haha! What I wouldn't give for some microwave S'mores right now!). I'm finding that truly nothing feels better than being on the road to fit, and I'm so thankful for an able body. God, thank you!

Tonight was my second nighttime run in this whole 6.5 months. I never knew what I was missing! Of course I've loved my early Saturday morning runs that take me uphill to a misty-covered golf course {minus the spiderwebs I relentlessly encounter- I do not love those}, and back down, passing friendly joggers on the way (and can I just say that nighttime walkers/runners are so not friendly? Holy crap, they look like they want to bite my head off for saying hi!). But nighttime is a whole 'nother ballgame. It's breezy and cool(er), I don't have to hassle with a hat or sunglasses, and I don't even have to be self-conscious that my fat pooch is sticking out of the top of my pants because hello! No one can see me! Though I'm pretty sure that tonight after I encountered some of those grouchy evening walkers, I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself, only to realize that the traffic sitting at that stoplight 5 feet away could very clearly see me, and most likely thought I had some form of Tourette's. Or better yet, multiple personalities. But no, it's not PMS time for me, so only one personality right now.

In just roughly 3 days, all you lovely souls will be sleeping soundly, and I'll be getting up at 3:30am to put on my rainbow colored tutu and make the trek from our hotel to the starting line. I would so appreciate prayer! Because it's still so scary when I think of running all the way from Disneyland to Angel Stadium and back! haha! One mile at a time, Melody. One mile at a time.

Rice bath.

Any guesses what's in this bag?

Augh. I feel so bad. Mikey (9) has been looking for his iPod for 2 days (the new one that he just got for Christmas), so today we were all helping him look for it. We were retracing steps, trying to figure out the last time he had it. We knew we'd seen it on Friday after I charged it the night before, and that he had texted Big Hunk that evening.

Click.

I spotted a pair of soaking wet jeans on the edge of my bathtub. Memories of the home video I took on Friday as I tossed my fully clothed son in the bathtub run through my mind.

Oh no.

Checked the pocket. Yep. Dangit.

Let's ignore the fact that a pair of wet jeans were left unmoved for two whole days, okay? I set up my phone to videotape, wrangled my gangly, fully clothed 9-year old son, and tossed him into the bathtub where his sister was playing. What do I have to show for it? A soggy $250 electronic.

Nothing good comes from trying to be a fun mom. ;)

What Day Did Jesus Die?

I have posted this a few times in the past, but my son and I were discussing this last night and I wanted to repost. But all we need to know for certain is that He hung on that cross for our sins! Oh how thankful I am.


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"Many people have been confused concerning the day of the death of Jesus. We know it was the day before the Sabbath, because the Jews wanted to get Him off the cross before the Sabbath. So traditionally people have believed Jesus died on Friday afternoon. But He had said He would be dead for three days and three nights, and we know He rose on Sunday morning, so that would only be two nights. Several explanations have been offered, but this passage here gives us a possible clue.

John tells us "that Sabbath was a high day." The day after Passover was the beginning of the Feast of Unleavened Bread. The first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread was always considered a high Sabbath, no matter what day of the week it fell on. It was a special Sabbath day.

So I believe that Jesus was actually crucified on a Thursday, on the Day of Passover, with the next day, Friday, being the High Sabbath, the following day being the normal Saturday Sabbath, and the third day being Easter Sunday, the day He rose from the dead. This makes three days and nights. It also explains why His followers couldn't come to the tomb to anoint His body until three days later, as they couldn't do that on either Sabbath. We still celebrate the traditional Good Friday, but technically I believe it should be Good Thursday. "

Pastor Chuck Smith, Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa
an excerpt from The Word for Today Bible

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I don't know why all the other times I've read this it made so much sense, but now I'm realizing that in the Bible it says that Jesus had the Passover meal with His disciples, and spent that night in jail, being transported from place to place. So He couldn't have actually died on Thursday? I don't know. But I'm just so thankful He did this for me. 

A post I wrote on New Years and never posted.

I know this is kind of random. But I wrote this post as a continuation of my "Old Year Reflections" post and with how I'm feeling today, it just works. I'll explain tomorrow.
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But never trying is not just lying to myself. What is that teaching my kids? Do I want my kids to continuously settle for less than what they truly want in life, just because it's hard and there might be failures? I think I've been hurt so much by the no's in my life that I let it hold me back from all the new things I want to try, so sure I'll fail again and everyone will see.

About a year and a half ago, I joined the choir at our church. We hadn't been there more than a few months at the time, and I was so excited. I have ALWAYS loved singing and it was such a passion of mine in high school (we were Glee before Glee was cool) (though the green and silver sequined outfits didn't help.) So when I joined the choir, I really put myself out on a limb and tried out for a solo. I wanted it so bad, and practiced constantly. I really felt I could do a great job and that my voice was a perfect fit for the song.

Now one thing I should admit is that while I think I sing okay and really let it all out when I'm at home, my voice gets ridiculously shaky and I sweat when I sing {by myself} in front of anyone. As long as I've been singing in choirs, that one thing has never changed. So I'll give the choir director a break and let you see where he was coming from.

But when I tried out for that solo, with about 7 or 8 women around me, I really felt I did a good job.

But I'm sure you can guess what happened next, and I didn't get the solo. And I tried to be okay with it. I never even told Tom how disappointed I was. But deep down inside I was that girl in high school that loved singing so much, but was in front of the choir director that never seemed to want to give her a chance. I felt like such a failure. {and yes, I see the irony of joining a church choir yet being sad over the failure of self.}

And it hurt. I no longer wanted to join the choir at church, or even really put it out there and audition for the church Christmas musical. Failure hurts way more than seeing a longing unfulfilled.



...right?

Hmm.

Can I really be happy belting it out in the car (my poor kids) or in the shower, when I know I have this passion to sing and I know it's God that put it there? Who am I really failing when I squelch that God-given desire? If I am truly doing it for Him and giving Him the glory {instead of living like "hey, look what I can do!"}, can't I trust that He will give me the platform? And I guess the guts? ;) Because nothing is more awkward than that girl up on stage with the shaky voice that can't make eye contact. We all know that girl.

I can see why so many women live their early adult lives for their children and families, then realize as they get older that they have sold themselves so short and they want that chance before it's too late. Isn't that why X Factor doesn't have an age limit? haha!

More tomorrow...

Eeeeek!!

Do you know what I have in front of me???!

My registration receipt for the Disneyland Half Marathon in September!!! Ack I'm so excited!

And scared.

But mostly excited!!

I've never done anything like this before. Well, except for a 5K a few years ago. But 3.1 miles is a lot different than 13.1 miles. I know I can do this! And this wonderful 8.5 x 11" piece of paper in front of me is the motivation I need to get my booty in gear!

Where a kid can be a kid.

The kids each recently had a friend spend the night so we took them all to the movies to see The Muppets (have I mentioned I have a newfound love for Beaker?) Well in the way home the kids were playing some sort of guessing game, and one of them was saying the others had to guess the name of something that stars with FF. So Tom and I were being smart alecks and guessing things like "Fresh and Feasy."

Without thinking, I said Chuck E. Cheese.

But with F's.

I only got the first word out (the worst part) before slapping my hand over my mouth and shrieking in horror.

Thank goodness nobody ever listens to me and the kids didn't hear a thing!