Two posts in two weeks. How's that for consistency? Before you know it I'll bathe each morning and eat three meals a day. Who knows what could happen when you let loose a monster like me? The possibilities are endless.
After weeks of internal battling, I decided to close my Facebook account. It's a tough thing for me, but a decision I felt the Lord has been leading me to make for quite some time. I actually deactivated my account for the week and a half or so leading up to Thanksgiving, expecting it to be hard. But it was actually the opposite. I felt such relief, like I had so much more time on my hands. I guess that shows what a horrible steward of my time I am, if simply shutting myself off a website suddenly opens up my days for me, huh?
It's hard because I don't feel like I have a lot of friends I talk to much or hang out with, so in a way I feel like I'm cutting myself off from the few relationships I have. But in all honesty, Facebook tends to only feed my insecurities and make me feel lonelier than ever. I can't really put my finger on it, but it hit me when in my study of James, Beth Moore said that in today's social networking world, our relationships are a mile wide and an inch deep. I mean, we have hundreds of friends online that know what we had for lunch or where we went over the weekend, but they don't have a clue what we're really struggling with or why we cried this morning or what we pray for every night while everyone in our house sleeps. So instead of focusing my time on "liking" photos of cute puppies, I need to surrender that time to the One who can heal those hurts and can pull me close to Him when I feel lonely.
I love my friends. So much. But whatever depth of relationship I have with them, I need to never let them take priority over my God. And I guess I need to give myself a little slack and stop comparing my life with everyone else's. If a FB break is how I do that, then it is what it is.
Okay so I've spent the entire evening typing a post about how I waste too much time on Facebook. There's got to be some irony in that somewhere.